Do You Love Yourself Enough to Make a Difference with Your Expertise?

Woman Holding Valentine's Day Gift BagYou’re filled with the desire to help others. You have a system, product, program or process that can transform lives, yet you just can’t seem to get enough clients or make enough money to really say you have a successful business. It’s so frustrating.

You’ve attended numerous free training events, downloaded free e-books and reports and you study all the time. You’ve even tried every marketing tactic you’ve learned. Yet it’s still not coming together. You’re just tapped out. You’ve heard others explain how their system works and is the best and you see that they are successful but you are doubtful it will work for you because nothing has so far.

Sure you may be making some money, even getting by and paying the bills, but soaring would not be the word you’d use to describe your business.

You just don’t get it. So what’s wrong? Why is all you do not getting the results you want?

You’ve probably heard people talk about the importance of working on developing an entrepreneurial mindset, right? The truth is that all the knowledge in the world won’t pay off if your thinking and beliefs are not aligned with your vision.

I’ve seen this situation unfold more times than I can count and each time I see the same problem keeping women stuck, keeping them invisible and unable to change lives with their God given talents. And the reason is often the same. It’s not easy to hear, but the truth is that often they just don’t love themselves enough. They don’t believe that they too can join the seemingly exclusive success club and be seen as an influencer who transforms others. The problem is this—if you don’t believe in yourself, why would someone else believe you could really get them great results?

Every daunting situation we face is there to teach us something and as soulful, service based entrepreneurs our job is to look within and figure out what the lesson is and then set about to learn it. That takes courage, humility and real gumption. It’s not for the weak hearted. Difficult situations like money problems, stagnation, relationship problems or anything else that blocks us don’t mean we are unworthy, unlovable or a failure. They don’t need to be used as an excuse to hide the real truth. When you love yourself enough to be as nurturing with yourself as you would be with a child; when you look at a difficult situation as a self-learning and growth opportunity, not as proof that you were never meant to succeed and when you start doing the work to learn the lesson your world will shift, your business will shift and your self confidence will soar.

When you look in the mirror and see Divine inspiration and unique gifts staring back at you, you’ll smile and begin to invest in changing, moving and growing.

Recently my friend and colleague, Kathleen Gage wrote a blog post about the assumption many people have that they should be able to get everything they need to make more money and be successful for free, without investing a dime in themselves. In other words, some people think they can get great results with no “skin in the game”. We all know that’s not how it works. Similarly you have to do the work and invest the time and energy necessary to face challenges, learn from them, be determined to overcome them and change.

If you know what your purpose is and that the work you were meant to do is important, then why would you stay stuck taking the same actions thinking you’ll get different results? If you see yourself as loved and lovable, if you value and believe in yourself and your gifts, why would you make excuses for not doing whatever it takes to attain your dream? If you truly can see your dream for your business becoming real, you will have the quiet, but powerful inner confidence you need to get outside your comfort zone, take action and invest in change. You will stop hiding, stop remaining invisible, stop settling for just barely getting by.

Otherwise you will tend to blame circumstances, make excuses, postpone, procrastinate, give away your power to others, stall until it’s “perfect” , operate from fear and put up a false front.

When you are filled with self-love, self-acceptance and self-confidence, you take 100% responsibility for the results you get. You know that the decisions you make today will determine the results you get tomorrow so you take bold action. And you will know you are special. You will feel determined to serve others with your gift and you will feel worthy of being well compensated in return.

This is a mindset shift of huge proportions. To love yourself and put yourself first so you are full enough to nurture and help others, instead of depleted and overwhelmed is truly stepping into your power and who you were meant to be.

3 Comments
  • Kate Loving Shenk
    Posted at 16:16h, 13 May Reply

    We are all programmed from a young age to believe that loving ourselves is impossible because we are flawed. Our religions teach us this, punitive parenting and workplace leadership is often based on the Old World Paradigm of an eye for an eye.

    These world views are laughable to many of us, yet unfortunately most of the world operates from these limiting belief systems.

    I am learning to live in the world but not of the world. That is where the shift begins and takes off.

  • Alan Allard
    Posted at 19:49h, 13 May Reply

    Janis, I am a former psychotherapist now coaching, consulting and speaking. I love what you have written because I see this in many clients I coach–but they rarely see it without help. Our outer circumstances reflect our deeper sense of self-worth and self-efficacy. It’s not enough to believe we can achieve something, we have to believe we are worthy of it. It’s not enough to beleive we are worthy of something, we have to believe we are capable to achieve our vision.

    Thanks for bringing up this topic.

    Author of “Seven Secrets to Enlightened Happiness.”

  • Steve MacDonald
    Posted at 04:10h, 08 June Reply

    Interesting post Janis! I always believe that we should invest in ourselves to be successful in any endeavor we choose! Success should start within us, from loving ourselves first everything will follow.

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